


Changes

by HitachiinTwiins



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Comfort/Angst, Gen, Kindaish more in the end than in the middle tho..., Kindaish... because it can lose sight of it but it's mostly Patton Centric, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HitachiinTwiins/pseuds/HitachiinTwiins
Summary: Traits creations, but more importantly Patton is the blamed one to separate them, although he felt bad, really bad about everything. But he was doing the right thing, right? Right?!
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, also tell me if I need to fix anything related to grammar or tags.

At the age of 2, Fear was created, the fear of the unknown, the fear of being alone, the fear of the new, although he was young and not strong, he still felt a lot of fear of a lot of things. That is how he showed when he needed a change of diaper, a bottle. Because he felt scared, raw emotions that were what he was.

At the age of 3, Thomas created conscience, he was learning all types of things, that created his logical side, his moral side. But at that age, he didn't judge what was right or wrong, all that he knew was that he was learning, to be logical and how things worked.

At the age of 4, he started to learn what was right and wrong. What would win compliments, and what would win time-outs. That is also when he started to learn how to self-preserve himself. Sometimes with lies, other's times just hiding. Was also in this time where he started to be creative, drawing more, singing more, talking more.

At the age of 5, things... Started to change. He started to associate right and wrong with good and bad, that is when fear, started to feel more... scared. Funny enough, that is when the mindscape started to change. Creating two commons rooms, one for the conscious another for the subconscious. They all stayed on the conscious sides.

But with time, it was clear that Morality who took the right and wrong responsibility started to divide them. He was sure he was doing what was best for Thomas, he asked for self-preservation, who was changing to be lying to go to the subconscious and stay there. He couldn't ask fear to change for there, but right now? He let a trait alone.

He felt horrible, but it was the right thing to do, right? Thomas's mother always said that lying was bad. Other traits were born at this time, but all of them were classified as bad ones, that is how the seven deadly sins joined the subconscious commons room. 

At the age of 6, creativity split in two, because of the right and wrongs that Morality was doing. The more good one stayed with them, when Patton, Morality had a name now, brought a baby green trait down.

"Deceit? Can you stay with him?"

"Oh, if it's not the all might Morality. What honor I received for your illustrious presence?" He was sarcastic as he speaks.

"He... Can you stay with him? Creativity split in two..."

"Oh, sure, because of your view of Black and White." He lost the teasing and sarcasm as he picks up the baby. "Lust, my dear, can you come here?"

A voice was heard and soon a salmon color trait was there. "Can you stay with him till I'm done with Morality?" "Sure!" Lust was happy as she picks up the baby and went inside with the others.

"You know Patton? I hope someday you will see that what you did, was totally wrong. I hope someday, Thomas himself will fix this. And when this time happens I want you to know, that I was right. The world? Isn't Black and White, Right or Wrong. Lie, can be good at certain moments. I want that when it happens, you will feel miserable and horrible. I want you to remember this exact moment. You were the bad one." Janus's voices were acid but serious as he says that. "If you don't have anything else. I'm leaving."

He felt horrible already, but he couldn't, he couldn't accept it! Thomas's mother was always right! If she said that it was bad then it was bad!

The next change was with fear... At the age of 10, fear changed. It was more right to say he was merged with the subconscious. No one understood what brought him to merge but he did, Logic, Morality, and Creativity were now alone in the conscious side. 

2 years later, at 12, another side was created. This one was different, he was... Fear? But not the like who merged two years ago, it was more for society also he thought a lot of what if and bad cases scenarios. He was always jumpy and scared of the traits, that is when Patton decided to bring him to Deceit again. This time he felt worse than ever but wasn't about the right or wrong, it was because, if the previous fear was merged with the subconscious maybe this fear is supposed to be there.

Again Deceit asked for Lust to pick up the kid, and yet again he repeated all his previous speech, but he repeated a phrase for the third time before he disappeared. "The world? Isn't Black and White, Right or Wrong."

Morality felt horrible, was he doing a bad job? Was he doing something wrong? He couldn't know. He wanted to believe that he was doing good. He was following what Thomas's mother wanted. Be good. And be good means be nicer to others, be smart and study, create nices things, was also good to be in the theater and even the things that Roman was writing! Help others and do good deeds.

So why? Why Deceit's word always hurt him so much? Why he was doubting himself?! What he was doing wrong?! Wasn't he a father? Thomas always said that he was one, so... Why Deceit's word was so harsh?

Years passed, he could see that the fear he brought to Deceit, changed to Paranoia, the kid seemed to be freaking out about everything. It was starting to be so bad, that Morality honestly though in asking for medicine. But, before he could do anything, Deceit shut his mouth, always, always when he tried to talk with the other sides to bring the idea, his hand would move to his mouth.

After the fifth time, he just dropped, instead tried to reason it with Logan, try to calm Thomas down with reassurances, and asked for Roman to counter it with nice images and things like that. That was when Paranoia changed again to Anxiety.

Then they started doing Vine, later the Sander Sides videos, Anxiety got in the videos and vines more often, they had to interact more with him. Liking him or not, him been a The Other, or part of the subconscious they had to.

But... For Morality? Yeah, he looked at him as a bad guy in the start but as they passed the time with Anxiety... He learned with him, he got to know him better... And that is when Morality understood, it hit him like a star falling from the sky and falling in him. All these years, he was... Been wrong.

Deceit was right, as they grew up the guilt ate him, the guilt of labeling things as right and wrong, but he never truly understood it... Now when Anxiety tried to duck out he finally understood... He was the wrong one...

But, he could try to fix it right? He could try to be better! Of course, it would take time, after all, it took more than 20 years for him to notice his mistake. He hated the guilt, he hated to do that but... He knew the right thing to do when you were wrong? Say sorry. Say you were wrong and accept any consequences that come with it. So... It was a matter of starting.

"Virgil?" Was still weird for Patton to say that name, as he just learned it, yet soon Anxiety was opening the door, disheveled, he could see another trait inside. "Deceit?" It was a surprise to see him there.

"Wow, the might Patton." Deceit's voice was full of acid, acid whose Morality had to agree now that he knew, that it was full right in be there.

"Sorry for interrupting, I can come another time." He rushed as he tried to walk away.

"Patton." Virgil's voice was gentle yet had a weird echo. "Come back."

And he couldn't deny that, as he turned again and was back to the purple door. Still, he didn't know what he should say, or how to say it.

"Deceit, I want you to sit there." Anxiety's voice had this tempest tongue, some that Deceit couldn't deny as well and so he just sat on the end of the bed. "Morality, I want you to sit there." And soon Patton was sitting on the chair near the desk. "Now, say what you want to say." Virgil closed his door.

He took a deep breath, as he tried to recollect his thoughts. "I'm sorry Fear. I pushed you to merge with the subconscious, I pushed you to live with The Others when I knew better that you weren't... bad. Yes, I know you aren't fear anymore, but... I should know better. When you ducked out today I... Realized. What Deceit had been warning all those years ago. The world, or the mind in this case... Isn't it just... black and white. Or right and wrong... I... Don't know how to fix this. I don't know what I should believe anymore... I know just saying sorry isn't going to fix anything. But I guessed... The only thing I could do now... Was say sorry and promise that I will try to change..." Patton's tone trailed off, he was getting emotional, but at least he was able to say it.

"Deceit, I'm sorry... I'm sorry for ignoring you, I'm sorry for pushing you away, I'm sorry for think you were wrong all this time, I'm sorry... Like I said... I know that no matter the amount of sorry it won't fix things... But I want to fix this!" Morality was trying to be brave and embrace whatever the other two were going to say, as he falls silent.

Janus was looking to Virgil and then Virgil to Janus, both thinking about it. Deceit was the first one to talk. "I don't accept your apologies. No, I'm not lying. You pushed us far away from Thomas, you forced Virgil to duck out twice now. And that can't be forgotten, some of the seven deadly sins also merged with the subconscious. I lost my family... The family that you denied. But yeah, you can change, you can fix things. And we will work on that."

A pause, Janus was thinking as he looks to Virgil again before turning his eyes to Patton. "But not now, we will use the Sander Sides videos to fix things. To guide for a better understanding with time. First though... You will need to fix things with Virgil. He was the most hurt on your behavior."

As his cue to talk, Anxiety just sighed as he sits down on the side-table next to his bed. The echo was still in his voice as he speaks. "You... fucked up way too much. Don't, you are in my room, I can curse as much as I want. You fucked up way too much Patton, although you thought you were right. For you? Yes, you were right, for anyone else? No. As it was said, no amount of sorry will fix it." He took deep breathes, trying to calm down.

A few seconds later he was back to his more gentle tone. "Yes, I'm still fear, although I changed. Yes, I was recreated, a thing that only you and Janus know. Because I think Logan and Roman were busier at the time to recognize that baby. But honestly? You messed up so much that I need to agree with Dee. We are open to help you fix it. But with slow and torturous cuts. I will help with the scripts of the Sander Sides, so we can progressively make up. I will say when it's okay to show up The Others because they need time to think about this. But Patton?"

He took his time as he looked at the other. "You already started the process. You came to ask for forgiveness now it's just time. And I really hate to work hard, Dee, can I let all the talk with them with you?"

"Of course, it's not likely they see me as a mother. Even though it obvious you were the father of all of us." Deceit smiled, lowering his head in respect.

"Shut up... That was years ago, I like to play this role I'm now." Virgil smirked as he looked at the yellow trait.

"So... What should I do?" Patton asked unsure as he looks at them.

Silence, as Virgil and Janus just sighed at each other. "Let's create a story, I will talk with the twins and plan this out with them. At the start, I will plan things just with Roman and Logan to help plan better. When The Others accept that they can accept that you changed, I will ask Remus to join in and slowly build up the story for them starting to show up. It will be scripted, but, at least we can have something to focus on and to prove that you want to change."

"That... Will help the guilt disappear?"

"No... That probably won't help that. You were the core of the emotions, but a few videos ahead we can try to make a video to deal with sad emotions, after all, Thomas just finished a long-term relationship he will need it... With this said... How about we all go to sleep? It was a long day..." Virgil yawned as he proposed that.

"I will go talk with them... For now, glad to know you're okay Vee." Deceit got up as he started to sink out.

"Yeah... See you." Was all that Virgil said before laying on his bed, looking at Patton who was still there. "You know... You will start to get corrupt if you keep here..."

"I know... But... Can I... Vee... I feel so bad..." Patton who stayed most of the time quiet, started to let go as Janus left, as he slowly started to sob and feel the tears fall. "I know it's unfair for me to... break down in front of you... Since I hurt you a lot... But... Oh, Virgil... What I have done?!" He was angry at himself, he was mad at himself, right now he didn't mind in be corrupt if he could let go of all those feelings.

And Virgil definitely didn't mind, as he understood that Patton was a nice person, who most of the times just shut down his not good feelings, it would be good if he could let go right now, so they could work with that. "Come here..."

He sat down on the bed as he waited for the other and soon the other was there, laying his head on the purple's trait lap. The tears, the sobs, the gasps everything got worse but Virgil didn't mind, saying in a soothing voice. "Just... Let go Patton. Tell me everything."

And he did, he did tell how horrible he felt, how it was a big weigh having to decide everything, how the expectation was always taking his toll on him, how he didn't like it, but at the same time, it was the right thing to do... He just told everything. While crying and breaking down.

All the time Virgil just stayed there, hearing. Because right now he couldn't help, or even comfort right. After all, fixing that would take time... And only with time is that everything would be better. Right now? He could just hear it and hope that everything would change for the better now.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeap, something inside me makes it more sense that fear [or in this case Virgil] was the oldest one, mostly because when someone relates him to fear, it makes more sense to me that he was the first one. But I hope I explained it fairly well, if not I can and maybe I will; rewrite this fic in the future with more details or even more emotions.
> 
> Oh, also this fic exists for the pure purpose for me to clear my conscience of Patton LOL. Because I read some unsympathetic and it crushed me. So yeah... Maybe I will rewrite it in the future. But I liked this concept. I'm ranting sorry lol.
> 
> As always if you want to chat with me, text me on Tumblr: emiisanxious


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